Are you single this Valentine’s Day, or just looking for some extra sparkle in your relationship? A group from Orchard Care Homes’ Thornton Hall, Crosby, aged between 78 and 98, who have over 160 married years between them, reflect on matters of the heart and offer some romantic insight for singletons and couples this February.

Despite recognising how much the dating scene has changed over the decades, their traditional views and advice ring true, as they offer tips on what to wear, what constitutes the perfect first date and how to secure a loving, long-term partner.

After their own marriages, the group offer the following advice for a happy and successful, long-term relationship:

• Make sure you’re both happy
• Love and trust each other
• Never go to bed angry
• Don’t argue – talk through your problems
• Be faithful (or as Edna, 83, says “Don’t go gallivanting!”)
• Be kind to each other
• Make your own decisions

Asking someone out

Interestingly, responses about who should ask for the first date focused on equality, with most of the people saying it was ok to ask someone out for a first date, regardless of gender. Maureen, 85 says: “It’s no different, who asks who out” and Eric, 76, says: “It doesn’t matter, as we are all equal”.

First impressions count

The group was unanimous when it came to making a good first impression. Smart clothes, like a suit or something new, good personal hygiene and not to over-do it on the cologne, were all deemed important when attracting a new mate. To make a lasting impression, Eunice, 93, advises: “Wear something smart and not too flimsy or revealing, or you’ll make a spectacle of yourself.” Eric, 78, added, “It’s important to just be yourself and if they don’t like you, then forget it, it’s not meant to be.”

The perfect first date

Where to go on a first date is always a consideration for singles, with bars, clubs and restaurants as popular choices. However, it’s not so much the venue, but how you feel on the date that counts according to Sheila, 84, who says: “It’s important to relax and have a good laugh”. Doing something low-key, with less pressure, is a good idea, according to Eunice, 93, who suggests: “Go on a nice walk and just get to know each other”.

Reminiscing about their own first dates, the group remembered when they got dressed up and went to dances, out for a drink at a nice hotel, or on a trip to the “pictures” (now known as the cinema).

Should you send flowers?

Sending Valentine’s flowers is a popular gesture for the group, with the ladies in particular welcoming a nice bouquet from their beau. Eric, 78, ever the romantic, offered this tip to win over your date: “Send roses, but send 11 instead of a dozen and tell your date to stand in front of a mirror to see the sweetest rose staring back.”

Danielle Currie, activities co-ordinator (and Love Bear) at Orchard’s Thornton Hall, says: “We had so much fun with our people talking about love and dating around Valentines. It was so interesting to hear their views and reflect on their own romantic journeys, as dating is so different today, with many finding matches online or taking inspiration from TV like Love Island. What we’ve taken away from the discussions, is that it doesn’t matter who does the asking on Valentine’s Day – just to be yourself and make your own choices in life. The group are such a positive bunch, with many having had happy relationships, so we’d all do well to take a leaf out of their books!”

Quality of care and invigorating best practice is at the forefront of Orchard Care Homes’ strategy, with 91% of its homes now rated ‘Good’.