I have to say, that these past few weeks something’s been happening which I have dreaded for years, my world is getting smaller each day that passes.

What I mean is I have noticed my lifestyle has become much more reserved. An example is that where I would spend about three hours in a morning and an hour in the afternoon on the computer, these days I am lucky if I am on for an hour in the morning and not at all at weekends as it all becomes too much. I find myself struggling if I am on much longer. It’s as if the fog has descended once again in my mind, which is worrying in itself.

Sometimes I sit there, not daydreaming but transported to another place in another time. I know I have things to do, places to go, and yet I can’t seem to remember what I have to do. It’s as if I go into a catatonic trance, then, when I come out of it slowly, then the things I thought I had to do slowly disappear leaving me both frustrated and realising it was just my mind playing tricks on me. This happens anytime day or night, where it used to be just early evening
which is also very worrying. “Try not to worry”, I am told, but when your world around you is slowly starting to disappear and get smaller how can you not worry?

I know I have lived a lot longer than some with this disease but, as I always say, I am in weekly contact with so many people around the world who have lived with dementia for 20 to 25-plus years and they still do what I do on the internet, if not more these days, and good health to each and every one of them.

There must be so many who have come to this point, teetering on the precipice and either have no idea what’s going on or feel the same as I do and won’t, or don’t, want to talk about it, which is why I do in the hope it helps. Every atom in my body is fighting this in the hope it’s just another blip, but this does feel so very different as I’ve never spent so much time in my reclining chair or watching films on TV. Thank goodness we have apps we can download on TV these days.

On a positive note, I take away the fact that we have a new team leader for the memory café who is doing a fantastic job of running it and we, as I have always said, have the best team in the world who volunteer there – I really cannot praise them enough. In the next couple of months we will also have a new chairperson, secretary and treasurer for the Purple Angel dementia charity so Elaine and I can spend more time together and hopefully do what we have missed out on these past few years, but don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed every minute, wouldn’t change a second of it, and still do I might add, LOL.

November 2023 will be our incredible 10-year anniversary since the Purple Angel started and so much has happened since then, far too much to document here, but please feel free to google, LOL. I am hoping so much I will be around for that party and also able to enjoy it with every friend I have made along the way, both in person and virtually, but
Till next time…